Crossover? Painless world collision maybe.
by HPG
Summary: The world of or Ivalice and Final Fantasy 7 world get mixed up! XD
1. Seriously?

Note: I don't own Final Fantasy 7, Tactics and Monster Rancher 3, FF7 and T is made by Squaresoft and Monster Rancher 3 is made by TECMO One week's night after the Sephiroth incident. in Nibelheim Tifa: Ok Cloud, for the last time, have you been messing with that Time/World Portal? Cloud: YAWWWWWN. Maybe. Zzzzzz. Tifa: Damn. Cloud: Zzzzzz. Aeris. Tifa: He's still thinking about her and I though he would forget about her after I bought him that PlayStation 2 modified version. Oh, as if I care. Good Night! The next morning. Cloud: Go Mocchi! Punch the stuffing out of that Golem! Aww!!! Dammit! I lost! Vincent: He's really into that game, Cid. Cid: That " Monster Rancher 3" is quite addictive actually; I got a Pixie that reached grade C only. Yuffie: BECAUSE YOU SUCK! I got a Golem that reached Grade S and defeated that Great 4! Cid: Yuffie, for the 1,279,379,291,803,271,167th time, I told you not to SHOUT AT ME!! Around the afternoon. Cloud: I'm going to work! Tifa: Bye! We're having a reunion party tonight and Barret's coming tonight so Remember to come back early! Cloud's work: Excavate Bone Village's new site! Some where else far away. Out of the world.. Ramza: Worker 8, pass me that Cancer Zodiac Stone. Worker 8: Uh! Mustadio: A little closer. Agrias: How is this going to work? Ramza: Why don't you imagine another person from another time? Beowulf: Yeah, hope he's not retarded All: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Reis: Don't worry he won't -END- 


	2. Character infusion time!

And once again, I've done it! Final Fantasy VII and Tactics are made by Square soft and not by me. Gooooooo me the god ditz~!  
  
At Bone Village, Cloud was digging' that hole which was said to have something in it in a stupid blueprint.  
  
Cloud: Darn! I've been digging that darn hole for 3 hours straight!  
  
Worker: Hey! At least you earn 900Gil per hour!  
  
Cloud: OK! $*&^)%$#.? I found it!  
  
Cloud saw a metal pipe in the ground. and went digdigdigdigdigdigdigdigdigdigdig and dig  
  
Cloud: Woah! Hey worker! Come look at this beaut!  
  
Worker: Woo hoo! It's the time machine just like in that blue print! God job Cloud! You get a 10% raise for this!  
  
Cloud: Yay! Extra 90 gil for an hour.word.  
  
Worker: It says that you should cast Meteor on that thingy!  
  
Cloud got out of the hole immediately.  
  
Cloud: Meteor!  
  
The materia junctioned in his weapon shone like mad! Suddenly, a giant meteor instead of the normal small ones swooped down from the azure blue skies hit the hole especially when it fit perfectly! KABOOM!!!!!!!!!!!! KABLAM!!!!!!! (Really, it wasn't two meteors)  
  
Ramza: I feel. WHERE AM I?????????  
  
Cloud: Who are you? An alien from space?  
  
Ramza: No, I'm from Ivalice. Ramza Beoulve, is my name and you have not told me where am I.  
  
Cloud: Where the hell is Ivalice and your name sounds weird.  
  
Then fell silence.. -END- 


	3. Fire 4! Cuz' Infusion is gonna occur!

Chapter 3: METEOR!!!! Author's notes: Once again.. I do not own Final Fantasy VII and Tactics. This one's going to be weird.  
  
Cloud: So, you're claiming that you're from an unexplored land.  
  
Ramza: Yeah, since Ivalice did not appear here. it must be somewhere else.  
  
Worker: Cloud! It's Meteor again!  
  
Cloud: METEOR?! Gimme the microscope! Wait a minute! That looks like a city there!  
  
Ramza: A city? Lemme look. ORBONNE MONASTERY?!  
  
Cloud: A temple?  
  
Ramza: That's my world up there!  
  
Cloud: No way, it this gonna be a collision?  
  
Ramza: No, I have a different feeling. A MERGER!  
  
Cloud: A merger?  
  
Ramza: Yeah, I read a book in Mustadio's room saying that if a person crosses over from my world to yours, there will be a painless world merger. Written by St. Ajora-Child of God  
  
Cloud: "Child of God", huh? "Painless". Hmm..  
  
Ramza: Yeah! Soon! I'll be able to meet Mustadio and Agrias!  
  
Cloud: Your party members?  
  
Ramza: Part of em'.  
  
Cloud: How many do you have?  
  
Ramza: Sixteen.  
  
Cloud: SIXTEEN!!!! O_o * How do you share your materia?  
  
Ramza: Materia? What is that?  
  
Cloud: Here, these balls attached to my Apocalypse.  
  
Ramza: In our world, we cast with our own hands.  
  
Cloud: (Stunned) Show me show.  
  
Ramza: Ok, (flicks finger and murmurs spell) Fire4!  
  
BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Cloud: .fire.. 4? . (Faints)  
  
Ramza: Hey Cloud! Are you ok?!  
  
-END- Will Cloud wake up? And just when will the merger begin? 


	4. What about Ivalice?

Authors Note: I do not own Final Fantasy 7 and Tactics. (Talk) I do not own Final Fantasy 7 and Tactics (Talk) I do not own Final Fantasy 7 and Tactics (Talk) I do not own Final Fantasy 7 and Tactics. NPC Pun. : P I don't really much if you FLAME me. Just "F" off okay?  
  
After a few hours.  
  
Cloud: What.? I SMELL LIKE TOAST!  
  
Ramza: Of course, you were hurt severely by Fire 4.  
  
Cloud: Wait a minute! You said Fire 4!  
  
Ramza: Yeah, what's wrong with that?  
  
Cloud: The Maximum a fire materia could go is to Fire 3!  
  
Ramza: Strange.  
  
Cloud: Oh DAMN! The reunion! Gotta go!  
  
Ramza: Wait for me!  
  
Worker: Don't worry he's at Nibelheim.  
  
Ramza: Crap, where's Nibelheim?  
  
Worker: 1000Gil for Transportation.  
  
Ramza: THAT LITTLE!?  
  
Worker: That's a lot to us!  
  
Ramza: We gain 11,000Gil at least for a battle.  
  
Worker: (stunned) Ok. p.please.  
  
At Nibelheim.  
  
Somewhere in a house.  
  
GuyC: Food!  
  
GirlT: There's many more Salad and French Fries in the kitchen!  
  
GuyB: Where's Vincent?  
  
Cloud: I dunno, maybe he's back in his coffin.  
  
GuyR: (Chewing his steak) Munch. someone's at the door.  
  
Ramza: This must be Cloud's house.  
  
The door opens.  
  
Cloud: You again!?  
  
-END- Just exactly WHEN will Ivalice fuse with Cloud's world? Find out soon. (Singapore's Guinness Beer pun) 


	5. Holy Frog!

Chapter 5  
  
Chant: Idonotownfinalfantasy7andtactics. Idonotownfinalfantasy7andtactics. Idonotownfinalfantasy7andtactics. Yeah, Chapter 5's up.  
  
Ramza: Look, you're partying here and I was at Bone village thinking about Ivalice up there.  
  
Vincent: Ivalice? Have I been there before?  
  
Ramza: No you haven't because I cam from there, that planet falling on us.  
  
Tifa: So you mean to say that "Meteor" up there is a planet?  
  
Ramza: Yep.  
  
Tifa: That means if you live in that planet, you must be the cause of it. (Damn, Cloud is dating a girl from another planet!)  
  
Ramza: I'm not.  
  
Red XII: If you aren't, who is it?  
  
Ramza: The time machine.  
  
Tifa: Heard anybody named "The time machine"? (I can't take it anymore!!!!!!!!)  
  
Barret: Itsa machine you piano-note head!  
  
Yuffie: :: Tip toes around:: .  
  
Cloud: Yuffie! He has no materia!  
  
Ramza: What's materia again?  
  
Cloud: They're condensed Mako, able to cast magic with them.  
  
Tifa: SHE'S A HE??????????????  
  
Ramza: (Takes Chaos Blade) I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE THINK I'M A GIRL!!!!!!!!!!! (Chases Tifa around)  
  
Red XII: So Cloud, what do we do about that planet up there?  
  
Barret: Foo! We'll wait!  
  
Cloud: True, we'll wait.  
  
Yuffie: Oh! I got a date with Reno! Got to go! Bye!  
  
Cloud: She went off with our Kjata materia!  
  
Vincent: Sigh.  
  
Ramza: (Casts Holy) Pure Light! Shine on bloody impurity! Credit for "Pure Light! Shine on bloody impurity!" : Angelus Phoenix.  
  
BLING!  
  
Tifa: (Lying on floor) Ouch.  
  
Ramza: This is the punishment for calling me a girl and kids, do not try this at home.  
  
Cloud: Ramza, we aren't on TV here.  
  
Ramza: Oh yeah.  
  
Sephiroth: If you're looking for me, not need to look, we got to stop that planet fall on us.  
  
Cloud: Let's wait and see, Sephiroth why don't you stay here for a while so that we can party?  
  
Sephiroth: Sure, why not? Hey who's this babe?  
  
Ramza: (Casts Frog on Sephiroth) Know, live, become a frog!  
  
POOF!  
  
Ramza: I'm not a girl.  
  
Sephiroth: RIBBIT! RIBBIT! (Sorry! Sorry! Now get me back to my original form!)  
  
Ramza: Three hours left. No.  
  
Sephiroth: Ribbi. (Damn.)  
  
The next day in Bone village.  
  
Mustadio: Huh? This place is dark. and I can see many trains, ones not used.  
  
Agrias: We must find Ramza.  
  
Boco: Choco! (Later let's ask him to take us to somewhere where we can race!)  
  
Somebody: Welcome to Midgar! I see that you're interested in the Train Graveyard!  
  
-END- Wow! It only took one day for world collision! Tune in much later for chapter 6! Maybe tomorrow. 


	6. Who next?

Chapter 6 (Kinda quick ain't it?)  
  
Chant: I, do not own Final Fantasy 7 and Tactics. I that I have owned up please don't sue me. (  
  
Tifa: Rise & DARK!? So dark! What happened? The sky is. funky.  
  
Ramza: Collisions, part 7, the process. When a world is going to be one with another, the land would basically go bigger for more space for the colliding world. The process may look horrid, but some consider it art.  
  
Barret: So that's what happening!  
  
Red XIII: Are we gonna die?  
  
Ramza: Collisions, part 10, the people. Don't worry, as this collision is painless as mentioned in chapter 1.  
  
Yuffie: Phew! At least I'll still get to see Reno.  
  
Cid, who's almost redundant: So, the %$*$ am I still gonna see Rocket town?  
  
Ramza: Yes and I'll be able to see Alma again!  
  
Cloud: Say Ramza, who's this, Alma girl? Your "girl"?  
  
Ramza: No, my sister but was not with me when I was doing that time machine.  
  
FF7 cast: YOUR SISTER!?  
  
Ramza: Yeah, I had two more brothers but I ended up killing them.  
  
FF7: (Petrified)  
  
Ramza: I had NO intention of killing them and they wanted to attack me.  
  
FF7: Oh.  
  
The sky turns bright again!  
  
Barret: AHHH!!! THE SUDDEN LIGHT!!!!!  
  
Tifa: (Looks out of window) Where.is this?  
  
Ramza: Lemme take a look. GOUG MACHINE CITY!?  
  
Cid: So let's go!  
  
Cloud: Go what?  
  
Cid: Take. a.look.around.!  
  
Cloud: Uhh. ok. let's form a party of three.  
  
The party was. Cloud Cid Ramza  
  
At the weapon shop. Cid: Whoohoo! This "Mythril Gun" is #$&*in' stylin'!  
  
Ramza: Shouldn't we be finding Mustadio?  
  
Cloud: Yeah Cid, let's get to the point.  
  
At Mustadio's house.  
  
Ramza: Hey Besrodio!  
  
Besrodio, Mustadio's father: Hey Ramza! See yer doing fine after you disappeared! We informed your sister Alma about it! She's so worried! You should go and see her. She's at Orbonne Monastery.  
  
Ramza: Sure I will, this is Cloud and Cid.  
  
Cloud: Hi.  
  
Cid: WooH! Look at the collection of airships! Oh, sorry.  
  
-END- Will Cid ever be able to overcome this hobby of ships? Will Ramza go and find Alma or will he find Mustadio and Agrias first? 


	7. Side People, side quest

Chapter 7  
  
Sephiroth: RIBBIT RIBBIT RIBBIT! (WHEN IS THAT RAMZA GOING TO COME? I------ NEED-----SOMEONE----TO-----HEAL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)  
  
Mustadio: Woo! That bird looks nice!  
  
Agrias: It's a Phoenix; I think that it needs some barbequing in fire.  
  
Rad: Slurp! (Is drooling)  
  
Lavian: It's so beautiful! (Imagines that if she plucks the feathers out, she could make a Feather necklace)  
  
Alicia: If I defeat that bird, maybe I could get all the glory in the world!  
  
Agrias: Let's go!  
  
Beowulf: I think this isn't a good idea.  
  
Reis: Uh-huh.  
  
Worker 8: WARNING: BIRD DANGEROUS! 9999HP!  
  
Beowulf & Reis: 9999!!!!!  
  
Somebody: This is Fort Condor, we're people who are against ShinRa and we are protecting that Phoenix.  
  
Agrias: Noooooooooooo. Fried Chicken. Gone.  
  
Somebody: Gosh, you all look so hungry, come in.  
  
Rad: Oboy, food!  
  
Back at Goug Machine City.  
  
Cloud: So you mean to say that our worlds collided because of someone?  
  
Besrodio: Yes. They said it was St.Ajora but I don't think so.  
  
Cid: Then who the #$%^ is it!?  
  
Ramza: Maybe. a sorceress?  
  
Besrodio: Got it! Why don't you all go on an investigation on who's the mastermind?  
  
Cid: Right.(I NEED TO RETIRE!)  
  
Cloud: Sure. (How much Gil?)  
  
Ramza: Can we find Agrias and Mustadio first? (Sure, Alma later.)  
  
At ShinRa Headquarters.  
  
The Turks and Rufus are discussing some thing.  
  
Reno: Well, the world collision was actually a fake, huh?  
  
Elena: I don't think so. look, Midgar has grown brighter!  
  
Tseng: It was supposed to be darker than this!  
  
Rude: . Yeah.  
  
Rufus: Turks! I order you to go investigate what's this source of light and eliminate it! We must let the people have trust in Mako!  
  
Somebody: Rufus, sir! The Mako efficiency has risen from 1% to 100%!  
  
Rufus: What happened! I thought this world was gonna be as dry as a prune!  
  
Somebody: Maybe it's due to the world collision!  
  
Rufus: Nonsense! There wasn't any world collision!  
  
Then a Black Goblin came in.  
  
Rufus: Me and my big mouth.  
  
-END-  
  
Sephiroth: RIBBIT! ( What about me!!!!!) 


	8. Whore-some episode!

Chapter 8  
  
Author's notes: ALL PROGRAMS GOOD AND RUNNING. Reis! I'm coming! Roar. YES!!! I GOT Beowulf, Reis and Worker 8!!!!!!!! FEAR ME!!!!!!!! My foot. Anyway, I still do not own Final Fantasy Tactics and 7. nor Pokemon Sephiroth: Ribbit. (Now I know what torture means.)  
  
Ramza: Hey I forgot something!  
  
Cloud: Forgot what?  
  
Ramza: About Sephiroth.  
  
Cid: Ahh. forget about that little meteor freak.  
  
Cloud: Yeah, he deserves 10 years of being a frog because he killed my girlfriend, killed many people, summoned Meteor and watched too much yaoi.  
  
Ramza: Oh. 9 years and 11 months left.  
  
Sephiroth: Rib..bit. ( Need. mosquitoes..)  
  
Midgar.  
  
Ramza: Wow this place is so dark!  
  
Cloud: Of course, it's like a pizza on a pan.  
  
Cid: With very little toppings, the sauces are the people.  
  
Ramza: Wait a minute! You're trying to make me eat right!?  
  
Cid: No, we're just torturing you.  
  
Somewhere in Sector 5.  
  
Mustadio: This place has the most lights!  
  
Agrias: Yeah, speaking of the brothels, I would hate to be in there.  
  
Rad: The restaurant.  
  
Don Corneo: Need any information? I got them ALL!  
  
Mustadio: Really? Then tell me where Ramza is.  
  
Don Corneo: Then give me those three women there.  
  
Agrias: Holy Explosion!!! POW! Critical hit!  
  
Agrias: I'm NEVER going to become a whore!  
  
Don Corneo: You meanth thath bishounenth? (Broken voice)  
  
Mustadio: Yes! He's exactly a bishounen. tell me more.  
  
Don Corneo: Whores..  
  
Mustadio: NO!  
  
Don Corneo: No Ramza.  
  
Mustadio: (Points gun at Don) Tell. me. or. else.  
  
Don Corneo: What can a gun do to me?  
  
Mustadio: You asked for it. (Shoot!)  
  
Don Corneo: Oww!!! (Effect of Holy)  
  
BOOM!!!!!!  
  
Don Corneo: Looks like Don Corneo is whoring away.  
  
DWING!  
  
James from Pokemon: Hey! That was our line!  
  
Jessie: Is this theatre 44?  
  
Lavian: No, this is theatre 77!  
  
Sephiroth: RIBBIT!!!!!!! (Cry's like a baby)  
  
-END- 


	9. 3 stories in 1!

Chapter 9  
  
Author's Note: Yes, I do not own Final Fantasy Tactics and VII. Sorry for the damn late updates, don't mistake me for a slacking dog, as I am very busy for my examinations.  
  
Tifa: Did you notice we're being left out?  
  
Barret: Uh-huh.  
  
Red XIII: I hate that feeling.  
  
Vincent: Rest. Ahh.  
  
Brrrrring..  
  
Yuffie: The PHS!!!!  
  
Barret: It's the phone.  
  
Yuffie: Crap.  
  
Red XIII: (Is watching "Card Craptor Sakura" (Note that I hate this show, that's why I didn't put it on the Author's Note section) THE HUMANITY!!!!!!!!!! (Changes to another channel)  
  
TV: Amoeba Channel. Amoeba 24 hours a day..  
  
Red XIII: Ahh.  
  
Tifa: Hello?  
  
Caller: Do you have a zodiac stone; we'll give you 1,000,000 gil for it.  
  
Tifa: Nope, sorry.  
  
The TURKS, what actually happened.  
  
Reno: The light source, we're here.  
  
Elena: Where is this?  
  
Rude: .  
  
Tseng: (Is staring at sign) Gariland. Magic. City  
  
Elena: Have we heard of that? Rude: .No.  
  
Reno: Let's go check out.  
  
Enemy Squire: Everybody! Attack!  
  
Enemy Mediator: (Takes out Blast Gun and shoots Reno)  
  
Reno: Argh!!!!!  
  
Turks: Reno!  
  
Reno: (Stands up a little effortlessly) Bulletproof vest. (Takes out stick and whacks the squire.)  
  
Enemy Squire dies.  
  
Tseng: . HEY! WHAT'RE YOU GUYS DOING! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO ATTACK THE ENEMIES!  
  
Elena: Yessir!  
  
Rude: Roger that.  
  
Now back to Ramza's scenario.  
  
Ramza: (Jumps very high and throws his spear at Rapps) Die!!!!!  
  
Rapps died.  
  
Cloud: Information please, that will happen to you if you don't give us---  
  
Cid: The $^&* information!  
  
Cloud: Who asked you to interrupt?  
  
Cid: Sorry.  
  
Ramza: You better not get another one! It took us 30 minutes to kill that thing!  
  
Don Corneo: OK! I met your friends! One of them blasted me with his holy gun and went off to the bridge linking Midgar and another town!  
  
Ramza: Let's go!  
  
Cloud: Oh yeah, we slayed Rapps also because you don't have a pet license. Don Corneo: Boohoohoo!! (Cries like a baby) 


	10. Punishment for putting graffiti on Ramza...

Chapter 10  
  
Disclaimer and Author's note: Where should we start first, the Disclaimer, or the Author's note? Ok, the Disclaimer, I do not own Final Fantasy Tactics or VII. Now the author's note. Sorry for the lack of updates, I am very sorry for the lack of updates, I'm having the holidays now.  
  
// BOOM! // = Sound effects  
  
(Word) = Action  
  
Person: That idiot! = Inside thought  
  
Ramza: Say, Cloud.  
  
Cloud: Yeah what?  
  
Ramza: Shouldn't we be buying Potions or Hi-Potions from a nearby town?  
  
Cloud: OH SHIT!!  
  
Cid: Somebody's getting old.  
  
Cloud: SHUT THE #$%^ UP!!  
  
Cid: Ok, don't blame me; Yuffie was the one who brought up this pun.  
  
Cloud: When we get home, I swear I'm going to slash the innards of Yuffie and @#$% her 10 times over!  
  
Ramza: Look! A Marlboro! (Marbol in Final Fantasy Tactics)  
  
Cloud: Deathblow!  
  
Cid: One down another 19 more to go!  
  
Ramza: This is how we do it. (Chanting) Move it!  
  
Cid: Oh ok!  
  
Ramza: Meteor!  
  
// BOOM! //  
  
Cloud: Let's go.  
  
At Gariland Magic City.  
  
Ramza:! The town's destroyed!  
  
Cloud: What happened here?  
  
Cid: Look! There's one survivor under the @#$% debris!  
  
Villager: Argh!  
  
Ramza: Don't try to talk! Cure 4!  
  
(Heals)  
  
Ramza: Ok, talk.  
  
Villager: Some troublesome pain in the arses came and thrashed the town; they claim that they're the "Turks"  
  
Cloud: The Turks!  
  
Cid: Those f***ed up pain-in-the-asses?  
  
Ramza: Who're those?  
  
Reno: So we meet again!  
  
Tseng: It's Cloud and his party.  
  
Rude: It seems like they have a new party member.  
  
Elena: Who's that girl?  
  
Ramza: Girl? (Prepares Chaos Blade)  
  
Ramza: You're definitely going to have a great spanking!  
  
Reno: Wooh! Take a look at that blade!  
  
After a while.  
  
Reno: Oww.  
  
Elena: I learned my lesson mom.  
  
// SLASH! // Ramza: Don't you EVER hint me as a feminine!  
  
Cloud: He did that battle alone.  
  
Cid: Scary!  
  
-O-Wari- 


End file.
